Lots of new and hurtful information may come out in your family law case. Divorce can present a brutally hard landscape of decisions and uncertainty. People’s identities get crushed with the reality that life moving forward is going to be different than it was in the past.
Unfortunately sometimes kids are used in ways that are highly inappropriate and as a means of controlling the other spouse. Significant others at the point of separation know how to emotionally hurt one another. There is vulnerability with moving into this process.
Assessing Your Family Law Case
It is critical to assess where you are emotionally as you make decisions in a family law case. When I was getting trained as a family mediator with the Superior Court I became aware that individuals emotional readiness was a central factor that lead to agreements. Through clenched teeth and grit some couples are able to see the bigger picture and are able to let go of anger and frustration. With other couples the initiation of the family law case is just the beginning of years of legal fighting and conflict.
Emotional readiness matters because parties that are emotionally ready to make these adult decisions are likely to resolve the issues. The sooner you resolve the issues the less time, money, and emotional pain are involved. When both people have the mindset that they are ready to move on in life, they are emotionally ready.
The questions below will help you evaluate where you are emotionally:
• Is the marriage irretrievably broken?
• Are you ready to separate from your significant other?
• Do you need spousal maintenance?
• How are you going to provide for yourself? Your children?
• What debts have you incurred that need to be allocated?
• What assets do we need to split up?
• What does your life look like without your spouse or significant other?
• Are you willing to live on your own or do you have family that you can live with as you put your life back together?
• Has there been domestic violence between you and your significant other?
• What do you want your time with your children to look like?
• Are you going to be able to share your children with the other parent?
• Will you be able to pay child support?
• Can you make decisions about your family in a calm and collected mindset?
Talk with someone who deals with this daily
If all or some of these questions are fear inducing than we recommend that you speak with an experienced family law attorney. Family law attorneys deal with these concerns on a daily basis. At Modern Law we give client’s guidance on how to work through fears that arise as parties make decisions that touch upon their legal rights.