When you are trying to understand your ex’s decision to end your marriage, or you are considering filing for divorce yourself, you will likely start to worry about all of the negatives. Yes, there are things to worry about when you think about divorce, such as how it will affect your kids, how you will live on your own, what will happen with your finances, etc.
However, you have to realize that sometimes, getting a divorce will truly be the best thing for you. After all, a divorce is far better than staying in a bad marriage where you aren’t happy or safe.
You Get to Rediscover Yourself
When you are married and in an unhealthy relationship, it often means that you never get to be who you really are and who you want to be. You are stifled and unable to grow. When you are divorced, though, you are able to have a new lease on life. You get to redefine who you are and what you want out of life, and that’s a great thing.
In many marriages, spouses spend a lot of time focusing on the other person rather than themselves. While this is normal, it’s not normal to completely lose yourself when you are married, but it happens. When you get divorced, it will allow you to have some time to rediscover yourself.
You and Your Partner Might Be Holding One Another Back
While you would hope that you and your spouse would find ways to help propel one another to great things, that doesn’t always happen. A lot of times, one or both of the partners hold the other back.
You aren’t happy in the life you have, but you don’t think you can do anything else because of the current lot you have in life. A partner that doesn’t encourage you or who actively tries to hold you back can be a major problem. When you aren’t as concerned with a spouse, it can allow you to devote yourself to other areas of your life.
When you do this, your creativity could grow, as could your career opportunities. As much as you might’ve hoped that your marriage would give you what you’ve always wanted, it’s okay if you find out that’s not the case. In this position, it might benefit you to research and think about divorce.
You Won’t Give the Kids an Example of a Bad Relationship
When kids grow up with parents who are in a bad, unhealthy, or even abusive relationship, it can take a serious toll. Not only are the kids likely to be unhappy, but they see a marriage that is dysfunctional and may come to think that this is just the way things are meant to be. They are more likely to emulate the sorts of relationships they see.
This means the cycle of bad relationships is likely to continue. You don’t want that for your children. Often, the best thing for you and them is to get out of a bad marriage as early as possible. Show them that divorce can be a healthy decision, too. It can make their relationships better when they grow up.
It Could Keep You and Your Kids Safe
A lot of people will say that divorce could harm the kids. While this could be true in cases where parents don’t talk to their children and help them through the process, it is always going to be worse to stay in a dangerous marriage. If there is physical, mental, verbal, or emotional abuse, it will affect the kids even if they are not the direct target.
You don’t want them to see this, deal with this, or grow up around this. Getting divorced is the best decision in cases like this.
You Could Become a Better Parent
When you are trapped in a bad marriage, you are likely to feel miserable all or most of the time. How does this affect those who are around you? If you have kids, you might not be paying as much attention to them as you could be or should be. You might put their problems on the back burner all because you are unhappy with your marriage. It happens more often than people want to admit, and some might not even realize it’s happening.
When you are divorced, though, you are going to be spending more time with the kids when you have them. This can make some become better and more attentive parents. The marriage is gone, so you can focus on the truly important things—your kids.
You Can Meet a New Friend Group
When you were married, you probably spent most of your time with your spouse, even when you weren’t actually doing anything. You didn’t go out often, or if you did, it might not have been to things you both enjoyed. Yet, because you were married, you continued to live that boring, dismal life.
However, when you are divorced, you have more time and more freedom to expand your horizons and find some new friends. You can try out new things, go to new places, and simply have a good time that you wouldn’t have had if you had stayed in a bad marriage.
You Can Meet the Right Person
When you are divorced, it will also make it easier to find the right person to be your next partner. This doesn’t mean that you should rush into another relationship right away—not at all. Take the time to find yourself, and then, when you are happy, you can find someone else to add to your life.
If you are being confronted with the reality of divorce, don’t think of it as the end. Instead, think of divorce as a bold and bright new beginning. There are still plenty of things you can do in your life, and you never have to let divorce define who you are or what you should do. It’s better to be divorced than to stay in a bad marriage.