Stories of Divorce Survival From Real People
Editor’s Note: This year, Modern Law began offering a scholarship to people who have survived divorce. We asked applicants to tell us in an essay how divorce had made them better or stronger. This series is the result of the stories we received. We’ve changed names and locations when appropriate.
Surviving the Unthinkable
Though it is not advisable or desirable, sometimes couples decide to divorce. Sometimes the ramifications can be sudden, sometimes they can be delayed. In my case, I was in a relationship for 15 years with my ex husband. When our 15th year arrived, he decided he wanted a divorce in 2012.
I later found out it was for some girl he met on the internet. I decided that I needed to hold my head high and do the best I could for my children. I have done my best to work hard, be a good example to my four children and show them that life can be wonderful in spite of being a household with a single mom.
What happened next was unexpected and devastating. This August 2016, my beautiful 14 year old daughter decided on a visit to her father’s house, that she wanted to kill herself. I was texted by my daughter to go pick her up. I picked her up and spent the next 10 weeks intervening, hospitalizing her and trying to keep her alive against her will.
I never left her alone, and I had thought we overcame her depression. But sometimes where there is a will, there is a way though. She was successful in becoming an angel on November 7, 2016 by tying her shoelaces over the bathroom door and hanging herself.
I have had to pay for the funeral, burial and headstone with no child support or assistance from her father. How am I surviving this divorce? Minute by minute, day by day… I have other children that need me. I have business associates that look up to me in my daily activities.
I work my butt off trying to earn money. I am still working full time, working multiple jobs and trying to also further my education with an online college. I am surviving because I have hope that someday I will be able to wear that cap/gown, that I can get my Masters Degree in Accounting and pass the CPA Exam. I have hope that I will own my own company as an accountant and continue in real estate.
The Road Ahead
I am surviving because I have dreams and because my kids need me to set a good example. My hope is that I can become a successful business owner and offer a good lifestyle for my family.
In addition, I would like to live a life of philanthropy toward others and help others in their time of need.
My hope is to make my deceased daughter proud by the good life that I will continue to strive to live, and by helping others. By losing myself in helping others, perhaps someday I will learn to smile again as well; and find healing in such activities.
How am I surviving divorce? By having hope, faith and love for others, and by the grace of God.