Going through a divorce can be one of the most traumatic things that you go through in your life. It’s a major change that will affect your life going forward, even if the idea for the divorce was yours or mutual. Because it’s a big change, it can often be difficult for people to manage. However, there are some things you can do that can make things easier.
Goals and Objectives
You have to realize the importance of being realistic when it comes to what you want to get out of the divorce. In the state of Arizona, things are usually divided 50/50. This means that the assets and debts are divided equally unless there are extenuating circumstances. Parenting time is usually split right down the middle, as well, unless there is a good reason backed with facts and evidence that one parent shouldn’t have as much access to the children.
Therefore, you have to be realistic when you are creating your plan for divorce and what happens after. Go into divorce with a realistic expectation of the outcome and it’s less likely you will be disappointed with the results.
Put Together a Plan for Your Immediate Future
It’s important that you have a plan for what’s going to happen next when you are getting divorced. Where are you going to live? How are you going to make ends meet if you don’t currently have a job? Making a list of a few things that can help you, personally, is a great place to start.
Take the time to put together a plan for all of the “small things” that you have to account for in a divorce. In addition to finding a place to live and a means of income, it might also include getting a storage unit for your belongings, for example. When you have a plan of what your life will be like and what you have to do, it can make it easier to tackle those problems.
Don’t Badmouth the Other Person
When getting divorced, it can be easy to want to shout to the world all of the bad things that your ex did. As tempting as it might be, though, you want to avoid this. You have to be careful about what you say and who you say it to. Even though you might think that someone is your friend, if they were friends with your ex first, or if they are your ex’s family member, what you say could very well get back to your ex.
You don’t want to say or do anything that could come back to haunt you in the courts. Along the same lines, you have to be careful about what you are saying on social media. Even if you feel that you’ve curated your list of friends and contacts carefully, you never know what information could get back to your ex. Err on the side of caution and don’t post anything about them or the situation. It’s in your best interest.
Think About the Kids
If you have children, the divorce is equally hard on them. Often, it’s more difficult because they do not know what’s happening or why it’s happening. One of the biggest mistakes a parent can make when going through a divorce is to try to pit their kids against the other parent. Trying to get them “on your side” or to coach them against the other parent is harmful to the kids. These types of tactics are often easy to see, and the court will not look favorably on them.
Instead, part of your goal as a good parent should be to ensure that your kids are properly cared for and loved. Make sure that both you and the other parent are getting enough time with the kids if possible.
Don’t Listen to the Rumors
Just because you are on your best behavior doesn’t mean that your ex will follow suit. They might be saying negative things about you to anyone that will listen. Some of those insults and rumors might get back to you, and you might even have friends that believe them. Do your best not to listen to those things and to ignore what people are saying.
However, you might want to make note of what’s being said, particularly if it could be used as evidence in your case. You can talk with your attorney about what types of things could be used.
Don’t Break Court Orders
When a court order is in place during the divorce, it is important to follow that order. Failure to do so would be against the law, and it could end up causing legal troubles for you. If you are confused by any temporary orders that might be in place, talk with an attorney about them.
Consider Getting Therapy
Going through a divorce is rough. There’s no denying this. Yet, that’s what people often want to do. They want to tough it out and just get through it. However, this can end up taking a toll on them. It’s often a good idea to visit a therapist to talk about the emotional components of the divorce. Keep in mind that the kids might benefit from speaking to a therapist just as much as the adults.
Work with An Attorney
One of the best pieces of advice, when you are going through a divorce, is to get in touch with an attorney that specializes in these cases. They can approach things from a third-party perspective. They don’t have the same emotional attachments that you have, which means it’s often easier for them to help you achieve the goals that you have laid out than it might be for you to do on your own.
Do you always need to work with an attorney? It’s sometimes possible to handle the paperwork, negotiations, and even a trial on your own. However, it will take a lot of time, research, and dedication on your part to ensure that it’s a viable option. If you don’t want to work with an attorney full time, you can always opt for limited scope attorney services. This way, you can use the attorney only for things that you can’t do on your own.