Co-parenting can be a delicate balancing act, especially when it comes to accommodating each other’s schedules and requests. A common issue faced by many co-parents is the lack of reciprocity in accommodating parenting time changes. How do you solve it?
Case Study:
- A mother describes her experience of frequently accommodating her ex-husband’s requests for changes in parenting time.
- Despite her flexibility, he has consistently refused her requests over the past year.
- The mother is frustrated with the lack of reciprocity and seeks advice on how to address this imbalance.
- In this situation, Modern Law recommends using the “Our Family Wizard” (OFW) tool to document and present these discrepancies objectively.
The Question and the Issue
A mother who shared her frustration about her ex-husband’s refusal to accommodate her requests for temporary changes to parenting time, explained that while she has often adjusted her schedule to meet his needs, he has not reciprocated. This one-sided flexibility has been ongoing for the past year, despite her continued efforts to cooperate.
A specific instance that highlights this issue occurred recently. The mother asked if their child could be returned earlier on a Sunday so that the child could catch a flight to a sports camp. Despite offering to give her ex-husband an extra day the previous weekend, he refused, stating she should not schedule activities during his time. This refusal was particularly frustrating because both parents had agreed to the camp schedule back in December.
The Recommendation
One practical solution to this issue by recommending the use of “Our Family Wizard” (OFW), a tool designed to facilitate co-parenting communication and documentation. Modern Law owner Billie Tarascio uses OFW for its ability to objectively capture and report parenting time exchanges and requests.
Specifically, OFW includes a feature for swap requests, allowing parents to request and document changes in parenting time. By using this tool, the mother can generate reports showing her willingness to accommodate her ex-husband’s requests and his lack of reciprocity. These reports can serve as evidence to demonstrate the imbalance in their co-parenting arrangement.
In the video above, Billie emphasizes that this approach does not necessarily mean going to court. Instead, it provides a way to present objective data to the ex-husband, highlighting the discrepancies in their flexibility. This can help address the issue without resorting to subjective arguments, which can often lead to further conflict.
The Importance of Objective Documentation
The issue of parenting time and swapping time on occasion underscores the importance of objective documentation in co-parenting. Tools like OFW can help parents keep track of communication, requests, and agreements, providing a clear record that can be referenced when disputes arise. This not only helps in managing co-parenting more effectively but also ensures that both parties are held accountable for their actions.
Using objective data to address issues can lead to more constructive conversations and solutions. By showing the ex-husband a clear record of her accommodating behavior, the mother can encourage a more balanced and cooperative co-parenting relationship.
