Do you have problems with relationships? If you are getting divorced, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a major problem being in a committed relationship. Divorces can happen for any number of reasons, and sometimes, they are the best thing for you. However, if you find that you continue to get into the same types of relationship problems, then there could be something a bit deeper at play that you will want to address. A relationship coach can help with that.
Sometimes, It’s Not Them, It’s You
It’s often easy to blame the other person when a relationship fails. In some cases, that might be true. However, you have to come to terms with the fact that you might be to blame, as well. Too often, people don’t look at the mistakes they’ve made and the things that they did that were responsible for a failed relationship. If you don’t learn, change, and grow, you’ll find that most of your relationships going forward will have the same or similar problems.
You need to be capable of taking responsibility for your own love life. If you keep blaming everyone else when things go wrong, it likely means a continued string of failed relationships. This can often be hard for people to understand. After all, it’s easier to blame others and to tell yourself you’ve done nothing wrong. However, it’s usually dishonest, too.
Take a good, long look at yourself and understand where things went wrong and why. What was and wasn’t your fault? Maybe you have been attracting the wrong type of people, and you can’t figure out why.
Like Attracts Like
Have you found that you tend to attract the same type of people over and over again? Are you always attracted to the bad boys or the wrong women? If you find this to be the case, then you need to do some self-reflection. What is it about them that attracts you, and what does this say about where you are in your life? When you continue to attract the wrong type of people, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that you continue to have the same types of problems again and again.
Here’s something that you need to consider. If you are not in a good place when it comes to how you deal with relationships, you are more likely to attract other people who are not great at relationships, too. You won’t be able to attract someone who is emotionally and psychologically healthier than you are.
What you need to do is learn how to attract higher quality people, so you can have healthy, sustainable relationships. If you can get your relationship skills into better shape, it becomes easier to attract people of like minds. It’s not about trying to seek the perfect person if you aren’t in a place where you can attract them. You need to get yourself into better shape, emotionally and mentally speaking, so you can attract the best type of people.
The focus right now needs to be on you. What can you do to become a better person? Once you know what you need to do and start taking those steps, you will find that it becomes easier to attract the right type of people.
Until you can look at yourself honestly and make changes, you will attract the same type of people, and your relationships will not get any better.
A lot of people end up in codependent relationships, which tend to be unhealthy. Rather than being in a relationship for all of the good aspects that it is supposed to provide. In some cases, they might be in a relationship where one person tends to be the caretaker and the other person takes advantage of that. They might not realize in the beginning that this is a dysfunctional relationship, but it will eventually fall apart. It’s not based on anything that is real.
How do you get out of the same patterns and thought processes that you have been developing for years? How do you better yourself, so you aren’t attracting the same kinds of people who are wrong for you? It starts by getting to know yourself and then learning to identify the patterns that you follow.
Once you can start to see those issues, it becomes easier to hold yourself accountable. However, it is also easy to fall back into the same old habits. It could be a good idea to have a friend act as an accountability partner, as well.
For example, if you have a history of attracting only bad boys who end up breaking your heart, and possibly draining your bank account, talk with a friend. Let them know that you don’t want to be with those kinds of guys any longer and give them the authority to call you out when it looks like you’re headed in the wrong direction. The same is true for any unhealthy relationship pattern. It can help to liberate you from those old patterns.
Change is hard, even when you start to see the problem. You can’t expect to make an overnight change, but once you admit to the issues and can truly see them, you can start to get yourself into better shape for better relationships.
Working with a Relationship Coach
This can be a long journey and one that you might not want to take on your own. Having a relationship coach—even when you are single—can work well for you. A good relationship coach can help you to get a better understanding of who you are and why you are attracting the wrong people. They can give you the tools you need to improve yourself and meet the right people.
Putting in the work will help you to become a better person capable of attracting the right people and developing a healthy relationship. The journey can be made clearer with the help of a good relationship coach.