Divorce is a scary word for quite a few reasons. First, it represents a major change in your life that can often resemble a death. This is because it is essentially the death of a relationship. Something that many people don’t talk about is just how traumatic divorce can be for everyone who is involved and how divorce therapy can help with the process of moving forward separately.
However, it’s a major loss and one that’s likely to cause a lot of worry and stress in your life. The loss of the marriage, like other losses in your life, needs to be processed properly, so you can come through stronger. Keep in mind that you could start therapy while you are going through the divorce. You don’t have to wait until after the divorce to get started.
Get Out of Your Own Head by Getting into It
When a lot of people are fresh off a divorce, they are still suffering from the emotional shellshock that they’ve just experienced. Sometimes, this shock is financial, as well. Everything in their life changed. This often leads to people spending a lot of time in their heads, wondering why things happened the way they did. How did things go so wrong? Was it their fault?
If you’re spending a lot of time in your head like this, you aren’t alone. It can make it difficult to sleep, think, and get through the day. When you work with a therapist, you can examine those questions that you have. You can work through the issues in your head during divorce therapy, so you can finally start living again.
Learn to Like Yourself Again
On your journey to getting your life back to normal, you have to learn how to like who you are. After a divorce, this can be difficult whether you view the divorce as your fault or not. You will always rethink the things that you’ve done and will often blame yourself for things that you may not have had any control over.
The therapist can help you understand where you were not your fault and can help you learn to work on areas that might have been your fault. Ultimately, they help to make you a stronger, better, and more in-touch person emotionally and mentally.
Learn to Move on With Your Life
Working with a therapist can help you see the light at the end of the tunnel, so you can return to a better and happier life. It won’t be the life that you had before, and that’s okay. People get divorced for a reason, and in some cases multiple reasons. You don’t want to dwell on your divorce forever, but this is what happens with some people.
They fixate on the past and never learn to live in the present or look toward the future. It can be a bleak existence, not to mention an unhealthy one. Therapy can help people learn to move ahead with their life, to look forward to the things that are happening right in front of them and all of the things they have to enjoy in the years to come.
You can be happy again, and you can find love again. Divorce therapy will help you learn to love yourself so you can move on and learn to love others.
Children Could Benefit from Therapy
Adults are not the only ones who have difficulty with divorce. If you have children, they are going through what will be one of the biggest changes in their lives, and it will be hard for them. The family unit they’ve known for their entire lives is turning on its head. Parents are arguing, no longer living in the same home, and it is frightening.
The way that children handle divorce will differ for many reasons. The age of the children, as well as their ability to handle change, will all affect the way they feel and how they act.
Parents should consider getting their kids into counseling during the divorce and continue it after the divorce as long as it’s needed. This helps to ensure the kids have a stronger, healthier understanding of what’s happening and that they don’t blame themselves.
What If You Were Happy About the Divorce?
This is a common question. What if you were happy about getting divorced? It might have even been your idea and you could’ve been the one to file the initial paperwork. Does this mean that you don’t need to have marriage counseling or divorce therapy? Not necessarily.
Even if you are happier with the divorce, it’s still a big change in your life. You no longer have two incomes and may have split up a family business. You need to make sure you have a place to live and that you can properly care for yourself without the aid of anyone else. You’ll likely be living alone for the first time in years. There are big changes, and that can put a lot of stress on you, even though you know divorcing was the right thing to do.
It can hit people in different ways, and even though you might feel as though you’ve adjusted quickly, it might still be a good idea to talk with a counselor. A little therapy can help make sure you’re seeing things clearly and that you aren’t dealing with any hidden stress.
How Long Should the Counseling or Therapy Last?
There’s no hard and fast rule as to how long you should stay in therapy. It will differ from one person to the next.
Some who have experienced gaslighting, violence, and other abuse from their ex might find that staying in therapy for longer will help them to recover and become the person they need to be. Others might find that once the divorce is final, they feel as though the weight of the world is off their shoulders and can quit therapy. You need to do what’s right for you.
Take the time to find a specialist who works with people who are divorced or who are going through a divorce. They know and understand what you are feeling and through divorce therapy they can help you heal.
