Getting married doesn’t guarantee you and your spouse will have a “happily ever after” ending. A lot of people end up getting divorced today. It’s the nature of the world and the increased freedoms we have to make choices and to get out of bad relationships. Certain red flags in marriages could indicate divorce is on the horizon. Some of these are obvious, such as having serious financial problems, affairs, and growing apart. However, some risk factors can increase the risk of getting a divorce that you might not realize. Let’s look at a few of these.
The Dulled Spark
When you first got together with someone, there were “sparks”, that feeling of a fire lighting up in your core whenever you saw the other person. Their voice, their eyes, and their touch made you feel that magic truly existed.
However, like a knife, that feeling started to dull after a while. Things changed in the relationship, and it felt more like work than joy. The spark dulled. The fire faded.
Can the spark be reignited? It can, of course, but it is going to take work from both parties to ensure this happens. Often, one or both of the spouses simply isn’t willing to put in the work it takes. This typically means a divorce is in their future.
Your Parents Were Divorced
It’s important to keep in mind that just because you or your spouse’s parents were divorced, it doesn’t mean for certain that you will be getting divorced. However, there was research published in Psychological Science that found children who had divorced parents had an increased risk of getting divorced themselves.
Keep in mind that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. These people may have seen divorce as an option when they were in a marriage that wasn’t happy.
Cheating Is Easier
Having an affair today is easy thanks to all of the technology that we have at our fingertips. You can conduct a clandestine affair through your phone, or even a burner phone.
Of course, you will generally need to be the sort of person who has a predisposition for cheating in the first place. It’s easier, yes, but if you didn’t want to cheat, you wouldn’t. You can’t blame Tinder or your coworker for your indiscretions. It’s all on you.
Marrying Too Early
Sometimes, young love leads to an early marriage. While there may be some young couples that stay together for the long haul, marrying early will increase the risk of divorce. This is because those young people never had a chance to get out there and learn who they are and to “sow their wild oats” before settling down.
After a few years or a few decades of marriage, they might be done. They might want to see what they’ve been missing. If there are other issues in the marriage, divorce is likely.
Having Finances in Good Shape
Okay, this might sound strange since one of the causes of divorce is problematic finances. How could good finances be a risk factor in divorce? It’s simple. It’s not the cause for the divorce… it’s the freedom that having strong finances gives you. It means that you won’t feel stuck in a marriage where you aren’t happy. You can get out and move on with your life without worrying about your finances being ruined.
Women who have their finances in order, which is more and more common today, find that they have more power than women in the past. They don’t feel the same obligation to stay with their husbands because they have their own money and options.
Your Kids Are Older
Some couples know that they have a marriage in trouble, but they “stay together for the kids”. It’s important to realize that this is not a good idea because it tends to lead to long-term unhappiness for both spouses. The kids can often feel the tension, as well.
However, it’s something a lot of couples do. When those kids are older, though, many of these couples decide that they can finally call it quits.
Differences in Education Levels
Research has shown that when a couple doesn’t have the same level of education, it could increase the chance of a divorce. When the level of education differs, it often means that the couple will have less in common and could even have trouble communicating about certain things. They may also have different outlooks on life and different goals.
This doesn’t mean that you have to marry within your same social and educational levels, but it is something to consider. It’s always a good idea to think beyond just the initial attraction. Eventually, you may run out of things that you have in common, and this will cause you to drift.
Whether it’s religion or politics, if you and your spouse aren’t on the same page here, your marriage will be like walking through a minefield. One or both of you will say the wrong thing and upset the other. These and other fundamental beliefs can be hard to change in others, and it often leads to more problems and increase the risk of getting a divorce.
What Should You Do About Divorce?
If you feel that you are at the point where you no longer want to be with your partner, whether it’s because of one of the reasons mentioned above or something else entirely, a divorce could be the best thing for you.
If that’s the case, you will want to educate yourself on how divorce works in your location, the paperwork that needs to be filed, and the steps you need to take. While sometimes a DIY divorce is possible, you may want to get some help and guidance from a divorce attorney.
They can provide you with the information you need about how to proceed. They can help with negotiations, and they can represent you if your divorce case has to go to court.