Going through a divorce will affect everyone involved, even friends and family who aren’t directly involved. However, it often tends to be the kids that end up having the most difficult time during a divorce. Many people don’t understand all of the various ways that kids could be affected, but the collection of statistics below can help to shed some light on the situation.
36.6% of Marriages End in Divorce
In 2018, 36.6% of all marriages in the United States ended in divorce. This meant that there were a lot of children who were subjected to their parents no longer wanting to stay together and be married for one reason or another. The United States has one of the highest divorce rates in the world.
However, there is some evidence that the rate of divorce has been starting to slow over the past couple of years. It’s important to be wary of these numbers, though, as the pandemic may have ended up skewing a lot of things. Some people who may have been on track to getting divorced could have stayed together through the pandemic. It will be interesting to see what happens with divorce rates in the next couple of years, as things start to get back to normal.
About 50% of Kids Will Have Divorced Parents
Although it is sad for the children that parents are getting divorced, the higher rate means that there is less of a stigma behind it today than there used to be. In the 70s and 80s, divorce was not as common. Children of divorce were often looked at as being different, and this could be hard on them. Today, with more kids being part of a family of divorce, there isn’t the same stigma.
Although having this many kids with divorced parents isn’t something to celebrate, it is good to know that many of their peers have gone through the same thing.
Quick Stats on the Reasons for Divorce and How This Could Affect Kids
People get divorced for many different reasons. Sometimes, the split will be amicable, but most of the time, there are festering reasons at play that cause a breakdown in the marriage that may have been happening for years.
What a lot of parents don’t understand is that their kids are sensitive to this. They see it and feel the tension and problem, often even before the divorce papers are filed.
It’s estimated that 73% of couples get divorced because of a lack of commitment. Kids see this lack of caring and commitment between their parents, and some may think that this is how relationships work.
56% of couples get divorced because they argue too much. A lot of that arguing has likely been done in front of the children, which can affect them negatively. It’s even more troubling in cases where arguing turns into abuse.
55% of people say they get divorced because of cheating. This is not a healthy thing for children to know about or see either, as it could color their perceptions of relationships in the future.
21% of Kids Are Raised Without Fathers
This is a disturbing statistic. Around 25% of kids live with just one parent, and it’s typically the mother. Only 4.3% of children are being raised only by their fathers. This isn’t the fault of the courts. Most courts, including those across the state of Arizona, want children to spend time with both of their parents. When the courts determine how parenting time and decision-making work, they will typically try to ensure the kids have time with each parent.
Sometimes, though, fathers do not want to take the added responsibility of raising children without their mother in the picture. In other instances, there could be legal issues, problems with abuse, etc. that keep fathers out of the picture. Regardless, it’s a problem.
Instances of Behavior Issues
One of the other interesting statistics to note is that kids who are between the ages of seven and 14 tend to be at a higher risk of developing behavior issues when their parents’ divorce.
Research from University College London found that there is a 16% increase in emotional and behavioral problems when compared with kids in other age categories. These do tend to be some of the more formative years. Frustration and emotions tend to start to run high for those who are entering their teen years even when the parents aren’t divorced.
Other research has found that children from divorced homes are four times as likely to have social issues. One of the things that were seen is that children who are frustrated with the situation in their home life end up taking out that frustration on their friends.
Additionally, more than two-thirds of prison inmates with long sentences grew up in broken homes according to the statistics.
Does This Mean Your Child Will Have Issues If You Get Divorced?
All families are different. You shouldn’t stay in a loveless or dangerous marriage just to stay together for the “sake of the kids”. This could end up being far worse for them. Yes, divorce can be hard on the kids, but as a parent, you can make things easier.
Make sure the kids feel comfortable talking to you about how they feel. Answer their questions as best you can and try to make the transition as easy as possible. One of the best things you can do is have the children talk with a therapist. This can often help to keep them on the right track.
You know your children better than anyone else. Keep a close eye on them when you are going through your divorce. If there are any issues, it’s better to address them as early as possible. Parents who both try to be active in their children’s lives, who are loving and caring, and who are there for them even though they might be divorced will make a positive difference for the kids.
