Are you going through a divorce? There’s a lot on your mind and it can often be difficult to know what to do or say from one day to the next. You have a lot of questions and a lot of worry hanging over your head. Chances are good that you need some help and guidance to understand some of the basic rules you’ll want to follow for surviving divorce. Keep the following in mind when you are going through a divorce to help make the process a little easier.
Try to Separate Your Emotions from the Situation
Going through a divorce can be traumatic and stressful for anyone. However, you need to learn how to properly deal with the stresses that you are facing whether you have kids or not. If you are getting overly angry, for example, you need to take a step back and breathe. You need to be realistic when it comes to your divorce, and you need to focus on rational things that you may have more control over. Emotions can be difficult to handle when going through a divorce, but it’s important to try to temper them as best you can.
Don’t Believe What You Hear from Friends and Family
When you are going through a divorce, a lot of people believe they are experts in the situation. Whether it’s providing you with relationship advice, telling you what you should and shouldn’t try to do during your divorce, telling you what you can do with your kids, what kind of dirt you should bring up about your ex, etc., don’t listen. Often, their advice is wrong, and it could even cause you some trouble.
Instead, you should work with an attorney and listen to their advice. They are the experts in this field. They understand the law and have seen situations like yours. Your attorney has your best interest in mind, so listen to what they have to say.
The Court Order
Often, people might believe that if they’ve come to a verbal agreement with one another that it is binding. However, this is not the case. Unless it is in the court order, it does not count. It’s also important to note that the court order is binding. It’s not a suggestion of what you should do during your divorce. You have to follow the rules of the court order, or you could get in trouble for not complying.
Work to Be a Good, Cooperative Co-parent
If you have children and you are going through a divorce, the stakes are even higher. Ostensibly, both parents will want to do what’s best for the kids. This means that you need to learn how to get along, at least in the context of your children. You need to learn how to be a good and cooperative co-parent. Unfortunately, this is a problem for some parents because they have so many issues with the other parent. It’s essential that you move past this to do what’s important for your kids.
You Can Only Control Yourself
When you are going through a divorce, you can’t control the other person. You can’t control what they are doing and saying. The only thing that you do have firm control over is yourself. As hard as it might be, you have to learn how to ignore the things you might be hearing from the other party. You might have friends and family that tell you things they’ve heard. Although it might be information that could be important to your case, it’s something that you could bring up to your lawyer. You don’t want to retaliate, and you can’t really stop the other party from talking.
Consider How the Judge Will See You
The judge will likely be the one that is making a decision in your case if you aren’t going through a simple, amicable divorce. Therefore, you have to consider how the judge will view you. Everything that you do, say, or write will have an impact on the judge, and this could influence their decision. You don’t want to come across as abrasive, abusive, or a problem because it will appear to the judge that you are the one that’s causing issues. This could reflect in their decision.
Always Keep Records
You must keep records of everything. This will include things like conversations, receipts, and proof that your spouse spent community money frivolously, etc. You will want to have copies of payments made on the house, the car, and other items. All of the records will serve as evidence, and it could help to protect you in a particularly nasty divorce. When you speak with your attorney, they can let you know more about the types of records that you will need to keep. If you aren’t sure whether you should hold onto a certain record, keep it anyway just to err on the side of caution.
Take Good Care of Yourself
As mentioned earlier, surviving a divorce can take a serious emotional toll. It could also affect you mentally and physically. It’s easy to get lost in the stress and worry, which can cause you a host of problems including insomnia, weight loss, mental fatigue, and more. Don’t go through a divorce on your own. In addition to the help of a support system, such as family and friends, you will also want to work with a good attorney.
An attorney has been through these situations many times in the past with other clients. They know what’s coming and they can help you prepare for each step of the divorce while serving your best interests. Trying to go through a divorce on your own, even if it’s a simple divorce, is not advisable. You want to be sure that you are treated right and that you get what you deserve from the divorce. An experienced divorce attorney will be your best chance at making this happen.