Narcissism is a disorder that exists on a spectrum. To some extent, everyone has some narcissistic tendencies. Self-confidence, which is healthy and important for people, still has elements of narcissism, but it’s not a problem. It’s okay to know what you are good at and to be proud of it. However, narcissism can become a problem in many relationships when people embody a large number of narcissistic tendencies. These types of people who have narcissistic personality disorder can be very difficult to deal with.
They have long-lasting behavioral and cognitive traits that cause them to think a certain way and to behave a certain way. They do this consistently and it affects their relationships with all around them. Someone who is an extreme narcissist behaves purposefully and willfully according to their own needs. Men tend to be narcissistic more often than women. There are about twice as many men who have this disorder diagnosed when compared with women.
How Do You Know If There Is a Problem?
If you believe that your spouse or ex might be a narcissist, how do you know? The best way to know for sure would be to have them diagnosed, but this is not often possible. One of the reasons for this is that the narcissist always believes that they are correct and that they are experts in whatever they might be talking about. Therefore, they may “know” that they aren’t a narcissist and refuse to talk to a professional about it. They believe that they are better than anyone else and will deny or ignore evidence to the contrary.
They feel that everything that went right in the relationship was because of them and their actions. If there is anything wrong with the relationship, they believe it must be because of you and not them. Naturally, this type of attitude and behavior is difficult to be around, especially for the long term. This is why many people who end up married to a narcissist will end up getting a divorce.
Additionally, narcissists will always see themselves as being the victim of any situation that doesn’t go their way. The truth doesn’t matter to them. If they lose a relationship, it’s the other person’s fault. If they lose a job, it’s because their boss didn’t like them or couldn’t see talent. They always foist the blame off to someone else rather than take it on themselves.
Interestingly, the personality traits of narcissists tend to draw people to them. They can appear to be charming and likable. They can often carry on a conversation and they do well at job interviews. They may have friends, but they tend not to keep them for a long period. This is because the other person tends to realize they are dealing with a narcissist. Their image is also very important to them. They want to come off as “good” to other people.
Someone who is a narcissist does not like to lose. They will do everything they can to win, or to make it appear like they have one. When it comes to a divorce, this means that they will not settle even when it’s in their best interest. This is because the desire to win is more important to them. Typically, this means that a narcissist will end up going through a trial.
Narcissists love control, and they want to maintain as much control as possible, even when they are going through a divorce. It’s important to note that narcissists want control over all of their relationships whether it is with family, peers, or someone that serves them at a restaurant. They are natural masters at manipulation that tend to get better with time. They exploit other people.
The narcissist doesn’t realize their own weaknesses and does not believe they even exist. They instead believe that whatever the issue was, someone else was the cause of it. They will also have poor self-esteem and need constant reassurance, although this is not something that they would admit. However, they want to be given acclaim and recognition, even when they’ve done nothing to deserve it. Often, they put a lot of focus on their appearance, wealth, success, and fame.
Those who are narcissists believe that others should do what they ask and feel slighted if they don’t, or if someone disagrees with them. They feel that they are owed by you, their boss, their family, society, and anyone else they might meet.
These individuals have a problem with regulating their emotions. If they are questioned on something, they will often become angry quickly. They are also oversensitive when it comes to any negative feedback that they might receive. Someone with a narcissistic personality does not believe that the rules or the law apply to them. They feel they can do what they want and get away with it because of who they are.
Often, they will speak negatively of people they don’t like, including their exes. This makes them feel better about the split. However, they aren’t limited to only talking about their exes negatively. These individuals will often spread negativity and talk poorly about anyone that they feel has slighted or wronged them, or that they simply don’t care for. These bullies engage in more than just verbal and emotional abuse in many cases. They can also be physically abusive, although that’s not always present.
Many narcissists are also promiscuous. They are always looking for someone better, someone “worthy”, which means that they could be more likely to cheat in a relationship.
Contact a Good Lawyer
Knowing whether your ex is a narcissist or not is important when you are getting a divorce. It will affect how they behave during the divorce process, and it could make the divorce take longer and be more traumatic than it would have been otherwise. Going against a narcissist is never fun, but when you work with a great attorney that knows and understands the types of behaviors they exhibit, it can help you immensely with your divorce.