When you’re getting a divorce, you don’t necessarily want to have the judge be the one that makes all of the decisions in your case. Instead, most couples attempt to reach a settlement agreement, so the case doesn’t have to be litigated. Couples can work with a mediator, or they might be able to reach agreements on their own. Often, having attorneys can help act as the in-betweens for the divorcing couple. Negotiating during your divorce can make things much easier for everyone involved, even your families at home.
However, for negotiations to work, they need to be done the right way to ensure the best results. Below are some things that you’ll want to keep in mind when you’re going through this process.
Put the Focus on Your Interests
Positional bargaining during a divorce tends to be a mistake. It puts things in concrete terms that are not conducive to negotiating, which can make even starting the negotiations more difficult. If the other side knows that there’s no way you’ll budge on certain things, they might dig themselves a trench of their own. All it leads to is more arguments and fighting.
A much better solution will be to focus on your interests and goals, so you can try to meet those while allowing your ex to meet their own interests. Remember, this is negotiating. Coming in too hard will be a mistake in most cases.
Remember to Think About the Future and Don’t Let Your Emotions Take Control
When you are negotiating, remember to think about the future and not just what you want right now. Will the things you are negotiating for currently be worth something to you in the future? When it comes to splitting assets during the negotiation, consider the values of the items. Do you really want to have a piece of art that you and your ex bought together, or would the money from selling that art be better for you?
One of the problems that many people end up having when going through a divorce is suffering from a case of sentimentality. You may have some good memories attached to a house, a boat, RV, a table, etc. However, if you try to keep those things for purely sentimental reasons, you may be doing yourself a disservice. One of the reasons to consider negotiating during your divorce, is to come to an agreement on things that maybe both people want, but only one party can care for.
Don’t Burn the Relationship with the Other Side
You might be angry about your divorce. You might feel betrayed by your spouse, and the only thing you want to do is make their life miserable. It’s natural to feel this way, but it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. You don’t want to destroy your relationship with the other party when you are trying to negotiate. If you do, they will be just as stubborn, and you will not accomplish anything.
If you have children, it will be even worse since you still need to have a parenting plan and some contact with the other parent. As difficult as it might be, try to keep at least a working relationship with your spouse while negotiating during your divorce.
You’ll often find that if you can get through the negotiations like adults, it will make other interactions down the road easier. When you have little ones that are going back and forth between the parents’ houses, this is important.
Don’t Give Up Everything
Negotiation is about both you and your ex getting a fair deal in the divorce. However, if you have a less agreeable ex, or if your ex continues to push for more than they should get, you have to be careful. Don’t let them try to bully you into giving up more than you should, and don’t give up assets and money that should be rightfully yours just because you want to get the divorce finished faster.
Get All the Information
The more complicated the assets are, the more difficult the process can be. In divorces where there is a lot of property and debt, one party is usually more financially savvy and will have a better understanding of all of the assets. This makes it easier for them to hide money and other items from their soon-to-be ex, which is unethical.
If you don’t have full knowledge of your assets, you’ll want to work with an attorney. They can help to make sure that everything is on the up and up and that you are treated fairly in your divorce.
Just as you expect your ex to be honest with you, it’s important that you are also honest with them. Provide all of the required information about assets, debts, and the like to ensure fairness during the negotiation process. This is important whether you are settling, or you are going to court.
Communicate When Disagreements Arise
When you are going through negotiations, even when you get along with the other party, disagreements will happen. You will argue over certain pieces of property that you both want, for example, and this could lead the negotiations to stall. Therefore, communication is essential. You can often work past those sticking points, as long as you are focusing on the issues and not trying to attack the other person.
A Better Outcome
Negotiating during your divorce can help both parties come out of the divorce with a fair agreement, and that should always be the goal. Having a settlement agreement means you won’t have to go through litigation, which can help to speed up the process of the divorce. It also cuts down on the cost, and you’ll have far more control over what happens with the assets.
Find the Right Attorney to Help with Negotiations
Although you could try to negotiate and settle on your own, you’ll often find that it’s easier when you have an attorney working on your side. They are experienced negotiators, they can help you reach your goals, and can handle all of the hard work for you.
When you are choosing a divorce attorney, make sure that you find those who have negotiation experience, but who aren’t afraid to litigate if there’s no other choice. If you’re looking for law firms in AZ who can help, find directions to Modern Law, here.