How long have you been married? Maybe you’ve been married for less than a year or a handful of years. Perhaps you have been together for decades. Yet, you are now at the point where things are feeling a bit off. You are wondering whether you should remain with your partner or if it’s time for a divorce; to create a better life for both of you. However, you aren’t quite certain of whether it is something you want to pursue or not.
Although there might be some similarities between divorces, they are still different because the people involved are different. In some cases, problems in the marriage, including those that are discussed below, could be remedied with therapy and other solutions. However, that’s not always the case. Below, we’ll be looking at some of the most common issues that make people realize divorce is probably the best option for them.
No Communication
We all know that communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship. If you and your spouse are unable to communicate with one another without arguing, or if you find that you are simply no longer communicating like you used to do, it can be a sign of problems. When people don’t want to talk and communicate, it’s often an indicator of a breakdown of the relationship. Maybe they are at the point where they don’t want to fix the problem.
No Intimacy
Intimacy is one of the factors that often bring people together and it is part of what keeps them together. It’s important to keep in mind that intimacy is about far more than just sex, of course. It refers to how close you feel to your spouse. If you and your spouse lose the sense of intimacy that you once had, it can quickly start to feel like you’ve lost your marriage. There’s no spark, and it can feel as though there is no love. Loss of intimacy is a major sign that it’s time for a divorce.
One Spouse Is Causing Financial Problems
Although in a perfect world love and finances wouldn’t have anything to do with one another, we all live in reality. This means that money and love certainly do go together. If one of the spouses is causing financial problems in the relationship—ruining credit, overspending, gambling, refusing to work, etc.—it is going to cause serious strain.
If that’s the case, and they aren’t willing to make changes, it’s a bad sign. It could mean that there are going to be more—greater—financial issues in the future. In those cases, it’s often better to end the relationship before the financial problems affect you too much.
The Relationship Isn’t a Priority
If you are in a relationship where either you or your partner is no longer investing as much time and energy into the other as you once did, it could be a sign of a problem. It doesn’t mean that it’s time to divorce, but it’s worth looking at to see where the problem might originate.
Maybe they are distracted by their work, their hobbies, friends, or other things that don’t have anything to do with their spouse. Their priority has shifted. When one or both partners fails to want to invest time into the other, there is a problem that needs to be addressed.
No Arguments
Okay, this might sound strange at first. While you might think that it would be great to never argue with your spouse, arguments are normal and healthy. If one or both of the spouses is just willing to give in and has an overall “meh” attitude, it means they don’t care.
Constructive arguments can be good. As long as there is no violence or abuse of any sort, arguments in a relationship can be beneficial.
This certainly isn’t to say that you should be arguing all of the time—you don’t want that either. However, when there are at least some arguments, it means that you both care about an issue and you have a point of view on the topic. If arguments are avoided because of apathy, it’s not a good sign, especially when it’s something that should be an important disagreement.
No Respect
If your spouse doesn’t respect you, it can lead to feelings of resentment, isolation, and anger. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t respect who you are, what you have to say, or how you feel? If you talk with your spouse and they continue treating you without respect, it may be time for a divorce.
Adultery
Has your spouse cheated on you? Did you cheat on your spouse? If cheating is involved, what’s the point of being married? If you are in this situation, and you can’t forgive your spouse for what happened, or vice versa, you will find that it’s often better to get a divorce. Otherwise, this will be something that is brought up during every fight going forward.
Abuse
No one should ever stay in an abusive relationship. Regardless of the type of abuse it might be, you deserve to be safe and happy. You deserve to be with someone who will treat you well. If abuse is taking place, find a safe and expedient way out of the relationship. Should a restraining order be needed, don’t hesitate to get one.
The Thought of Being Out Feels Better
When you think about your marriage and your spouse, do you fantasize about how much better or easier it would be if you were single? If you do, then it’s a sure sign you are going to be better off getting a divorce.
When Therapy Isn’t an Option
In some cases, therapy might be an option for those who are thinking it’s time for a divorce. Other times, therapy isn’t an option. Sometimes, it is better to go through with the divorce. You and your spouse will be much happier when you aren’t together, as sad as that might sound.
