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Establishing Custody in Divorce Court: Part 2

Divorce can be a tumultuous time, especially when children are involved. For divorcing parents, the prospect of a custody battle can be daunting, particularly for those who choose to represent themselves. Billie Tarascio, owner of Modern Law, offers invaluable recommendations for parents who want to ensure they don’t lose custody of their children. Here’s a summary of the key elements needed to make a strong case in divorce court.

1. Understanding the Stakes and Strategy

Custody cases are often compared to a game of chess, where strategy plays a crucial role. It’s not just about the moves you make but also about understanding the rules of the game. Family law attorneys are well-versed in what courts want to see, and avoiding tactical errors is essential. Losing custody often comes down to three main reasons: not knowing what to do, refusing to change behavior out of pride, or being incapable of meeting the court’s requirements.

2. Knowledge is Power

The first step in avoiding the loss of custody is understanding what you’re supposed to do. This can be challenging for self-represented individuals or those whose attorneys lack experience in family law or familiarity with local courts. The focus should always be on fostering a positive relationship with your child, ensuring meaningful parenting time, and meeting the child’s needs. The child should be the center of the universe in any family court custody case.

3. The Parent’s Role vs. The Lawyer’s Role

As a parent, your primary job is to focus on your child. Any issues with the other parent should be secondary and only brought up if they directly affect the child. This is where the lawyer’s role becomes critical. It’s the attorney’s job to address concerns with the other parent, allowing you to concentrate on being the best parent you can be.

4. The Art of Advocacy

There’s an art to advocating for your child’s best interests while also addressing concerns about the other parent. The key is to always relate the other parent’s behavior back to its impact on the child. The child’s needs, beliefs, and well-being should be at the forefront of any argument or criticism.

5. Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Many parents lose custody because they either don’t know what the court expects of them or they’re too prideful to alter their behavior according to the court’s gui Others may find themselves unable to make the necessary changes, whether due to personal circumstances or other limitations.

6. The Importance of Expert Guidance

For those representing themselves, the challenge is twofold: you must be both the lawyer and the parent. It’s crucial to seek guidance, whether through legal counsel or educational resources, to understand how to navigate the court system effectively and present a strong case.



The path to securing custody of your children in a divorce court is fraught with challenges, but with the right approach and mindset, it’s possible to present a compelling case. Focus on your child, understand the court’s expectations, and don’t be afraid to seek help when needed. Remember, the goal is to ensure the best possible outcome for your child, and every decision should be made with their future in mind.


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