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Co-Parenting with a Controlling Ex


Is your ex still trying to control you AFTER the divorce?  Modern Law recently answered the question of an exhausted parent dealing with an ex who’s a way too keen on keeping tabs on their kiddo. You know may have spotted the type: they’re always on the lookout, tracking every move, and bombarding you with questions. It’s like living in a reality show, minus the fun and the prize money.

The “Where’s Waldo?” of Parenting

So let’s say your teen is with you, living their best life, but your phone keeps buzzing with texts from your ex. “Why’s she at the mall? Who’s she with? Is she staying over at a friend’s?” It’s like they’ve got a GPS tracker on her and a direct line to your stress receptors. And when you try to set boundaries, boom! You’re hit with the “you’re alienating me” card. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.

Setting Boundaries: The Art of Saying ‘Enough’

First things first, let’s talk boundaries. It’s crucial to draw a line in the sand. Yes, co-parenting means sharing information, but it doesn’t mean giving a play-by-play of every second. If your ex is court-ordered to track your teen’s location, that’s one thing. But constant questioning? That’s a whole different ball game.

The Legal Labyrinth

Here’s where things get a bit tricky. Parenting plans and court orders are like recipes – they need the right ingredients to work. If there’s a clause about tracking your child’s location, it’s there for safety, not for your ex to play detective. If this tracking turns into a tool for control, it might be time to chat with a legal pro about tweaking that recipe.

Communication: Keep It About the Kiddo

When you do have to talk to your ex, keep the convo child-centered. It’s not about their parenting style or your grievances. It’s about what’s best for your teen. And hey, your kid’s 16 – they can speak for themselves. Encouraging direct communication between your teen and your ex can take some pressure off you.

Self-Care Rescue

Dealing with a controlling ex can be a rollercoaster of stress and anxiety. It’s important to look after yourself by shutting down the chatter. Whether it’s yoga, a good book, or venting to a friend, find what helps you unwind. And don’t forget about your teen – they need support too.

Co-Parenting with a Twist

Co-parenting with someone who loves control more than a TV remote can be tough. It’s like playing chess with someone who’s trying to play checkers. But remember, it’s all about adapting your strategy. Be firm but fair, and always keep your child’s well-being front and center.

So, there you have it. Co-parenting with a controlling ex is no walk in the park, but with the right approach, you can navigate these choppy waters without instigating legal help. Set those boundaries and keep communication focused on your child, keeping your parenting plan wording in mind. Don’t be afraid to seek legal advice if things get too much: a change in your parenting plan may be in order.


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