Going through a divorce is one of life’s most challenging episodes. The complexities of ending a relationship, coupled with the intricacies of the legal system, can be overwhelming. However, according to Billie Tarascio and Julie LaBenz, owners of Win Without Law School, there are concrete strategies one can employ to emotionally survive the pitfalls of divorce, and some of them involve a discerning engagement with the legal system. Here’s a distilled guide from their recent YouTube video, “Survival Tactics For Getting Through Divorce.”
1. Choose Your Battles Wisely
Not every hill is worth dying on. One of the most common mistakes people make during divorce proceedings is getting entrenched in battles over trivial matters. Whether it’s a particular piece of furniture or a minor point of contention, some things just aren’t worth the emotional and financial toll. By focusing on the larger picture and the well-being of everyone involved, especially if there are children, you can save yourself unnecessary stress and expense.
2. Manage Expectations: Justice vs Reality
Many enter the legal maze of divorce with the hope or expectation that justice will be served, that the scales will balance, and they will feel vindicated. The reality, however, is that the legal system is not designed to assuage personal feelings of betrayal, hurt, or anger. Seeking emotional validation from a system that operates based on laws and prior case outcomes can lead to profound disappointment.
3. The Court Isn’t Your Therapist
While it might feel tempting to use the courtroom as a platform to voice your grievances, it’s essential to understand that its primary objective is to resolve disputes based on legal parameters, not emotional narratives. The courts largely rely on couples to figure out the majority of their issues beforehand. If you’re looking for a space to heal or vent, it’s more beneficial to seek a therapist or a support group.
4. Hold That Text!
In an age of instant communication, it’s all too easy to fire off a heated text to an ex-spouse. But Tarascio and LaBenz agree that restraint is your friend. Emotions can cloud judgment and often, in the heat of the moment, we may say things we later regret. If you’re feeling the urge to send an emotional message, consider waiting, taking a deep breath, and evaluating if it’s truly necessary. Sometimes, the best course of action is to maintain distance and let cooler heads prevail.
5. Empower Yourself With Knowledge
The more you understand the legal process, the better equipped you’ll be to navigate it. Win Without Law School is an excellent resource for those seeking to understand the nuances of the legal system without the jargon. Knowledge can provide a sense of control during an otherwise tumultuous time.
Divorce is never easy. It’s a journey filled with emotional upheavals and legal intricacies. However, with the right mindset and tools at your disposal, you can emerge from it stronger and wiser. Remember, the goal isn’t to “win” the divorce but to find a path forward where all parties can heal and move on. Sometimes the best way to win is to rise above the fray, focus on the bigger picture, and navigate the process with grace and wisdom.