You’ve just gone through a divorce, and it seems like everything that you knew, or thought you knew, is gone forever. It might feel like you are never going to get your life back to normal and that you won’t feel happy or comfortable again. Fortunately, that doesn’t have to be the case. As overwhelming as it can feel, there is still a lot out there for you to enjoy in your life after divorce.
Grieve the Loss
Divorce is a loss not dissimilar to death, and you will likely find that you have to go through all of the stages of grief before you can get back to normal. Even when you know that the divorce was the best decision, it’s a massive change. It’s a big hole in your life, and it can feel impossible to fill that void.
You need to have time to grieve this loss, so you can better process what happened. Before you can move on and start on your path back to normality, make sure you’re ready.
Be Smart with Your Finances
When you get divorced, it’s a big change in your finances, as well. This can mean more changes. If you haven’t worked in a while because you were a stay-at-home spouse, you’ll need to find employment. Even if you already have a job, you need to learn how to live on that income rather than the double income from you and your spouse. This is a huge rock for many people who are looking to have not just a healthier life but a wealthier life after divorce.
What does this mean for you? It likely means that you will need to be spending less and living smaller, at least for a while. Rather than getting a large apartment after divorcing, you might need to find a smaller location. It might mean trading in your expensive car for something more practical.
Although these might seem like unwelcome changes, they are necessary. They ensure you will survive, and they help you realize that you don’t need to have as many things to thrive.
Talk with Friends and Family
After your divorce, you will not feel like going out right away in most cases. In the beginning, you’ll probably just want to sit and talk with close friends and family. However, it shouldn’t all be talking about how sad you are. Remember, you are trying to get things back to normal.
Talk about things that you enjoy. Engage in some hobbies that you like whether it’s playing cards and board games or getting together to watch a movie. Taking your mind off the divorce and putting it onto the things that you enjoy is one of the best ways to start pushing forward.
Keep a Journal
Journaling can be a good way to help reduce some of your emotional pain. It has helped many people who are dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder, and it could help people to better cope with the pain of divorce. You don’t have to necessarily write about the divorce itself, but you can write about the emotional pain that you feel.
If you’ve never kept a journal before, it can feel a bit strange, but it’s worth it. You could have a file on your computer, or you could keep a handwritten journal. Keep track of how you feel and how you are healing by revisiting early entries can comparing them to newer entries.
You don’t have to journal each day but try to get into the habit of doing it at least once every several days. It might work for you better than you think. It also helps to return after a while, to see how your life after divorce can compare to the new life you created on your own.
Get Counseling
Without a doubt, this is one of the best options to consider when you are going through a divorce and after your divorce. Counseling can help you in countless ways. You will have a professional who can help you to better understand and parse your feelings.
They can help you learn how to love yourself again, which is essential if you are going to be successful in getting your life back to normal. They can help to provide you with the motivation you need to move forward.
Time for Some Reinvention
Maybe you don’t want your life to get back to what it was. Maybe you want something else now that you are no longer married. You might want to take this time to reinvent yourself. Find some new hobbies, a new style of fashion, and some new interests. You can also use this time to make some new friends that you can add to your social group.
Start Dating Again
When you get a divorce, you might think that you’ll never find love again or that you don’t deserve love. That’s not true. There is someone out there who is perfect for you, and it’s okay that you start dating again. Once you feel that you are ready for dating, put yourself out there. You can easily find dating groups in your area on social media or elsewhere online.
When you are dating again, you might want to ask your friends if they know anyone who might be interested. You could also head online to reputable dating sites to find someone to date. Remember, just because you’re going on dates doesn’t mean you’re rushing out there to fall in love. Meet people, have fun, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or another person to fall in love with. It will happen when it’s right and with the right person.
Take It as Slow as You Need
One of the mistakes that some people often make when they are trying to return to normal after a divorce is moving too fast. They are in such a rush to return to normality that they push forward too quickly and find that they aren’t ready for a new life after divorce.
It’s better to listen to yourself. Move only as quickly as you would like. However, you don’t want to make the mistake of stagnating. Even if you’re moving slow, you still have to be swimming forward.
It will take some time, but you can do it. You can be happy again, and you can get the life that you want and deserve.
