Divorce isn’t a topic that most people like to talk about, especially when they are going through family troubles. They might be thinking about divorce, but they don’t want to say anything because they have children. They think that they should “stay together for the kids” and feel that it is noble to do so, but perhaps it’s more noble to “divorce for the kids”.
To be honest, though, this can sometimes be one of the worst things you can do for your children. In many cases, divorce will be the better option, not just for the adults, but also for the kids in the home. Let’s get a closer look at why divorce could be better and certain instances when being around both parents is less than ideal.
It Can Stop Abuse in the Home
If you have a spouse who is abusive toward the children or you, a divorce is going to provide the protection you desperately need. Whether the abuse is emotional, mental, or physical, everyone in the household is going to be affected.
Not only should the abuse be reported, but there should be a divorce. The information about the abuse needs to be brought to the courts, so they can determine how much contact, if any, the abusive parent should have with the children.
The worst thing you can do in these cases is to stay together for the sake of the kids. It is only going to end up making matters worse, and it could end in tragedy.
It Can Reduce Stress and Anxiety Levels
When parents aren’t getting along, it’s not lost on the children. They know when their parents are fighting, not speaking to one another, etc. It doesn’t matter how good you think you are at hiding it. The kids can feel the tension in the air, and this tends to cause more stress and anxiety for them. It is unhealthy for them physically, mentally, and emotionally.
When you get a divorce, all of that tension can start to disappear. The kids tend to be better adjusted because of it.
Kids Can Learn Better Ways to Deal with Problems
You don’t want your kids to think that the best way to deal with a problem is to suck it up and just take it. When you stay in a marriage because you think it’s better for the kids, even though no one is happy, it teaches the kids a lesson you don’t want them to learn. It teaches them to suffer through a problem rather than to truly deal with the problem and make it go away.
When you get divorced, though, you are showing the kids that there are other ways they can deal with the issues they face. They can see you and your spouse handle the various types of issues that come up with divorce. They can see you negotiate and come to agreements. This is better than making them feel that you, and they by extension, are just drones to do whatever they are told.
A Parent Might Be an Addict
Drug and alcohol addiction are very serious problems all across the world. Addictions can take serious tolls on not just the addicts but also everyone who is around them. If you have a partner who is an addict and they are not willing to get help, or they continue to fall back to their old habits, divorce could be better for the kids.
This doesn’t mean that you and your kids have to stop caring about the person. It just means you can’t let their addiction derail the lives of you and your children. Those people need help, and if they aren’t willing to get it and to make changes, a divorce is often the best choice for you.
A Parent Might Not Have Ambition
This can be a hard one. Sometimes, you may have a spouse who is a great person, but who doesn’t have any ambition in their life. They don’t want to better themselves. They don’t care if they have a job (as long as they are being taken care of by you or others), and they don’t have any goals. Even though they might be nice and could be a loving parent, they aren’t the best role model for the kids, are they?
If you have a spouse who is like this and who will not change, a divorce could be better for you and the kids. It sounds harsh, but you don’t want your children to grow up and not have any ambition either.
Sometimes Parents Spend Too Much on Frivolous Items
One of the other ways that parental behavior can cause problems is with spending. A lot of divorces happen because of money issues. Sometimes, it might be due to a parent not getting enough work or being laid off. However, other times it stems from reckless and selfish spending.
Some buy things frivolously and without thinking about how that loss of money will affect their spouse and kids. They only think selfishly of what they want. It might be a large purchase, or it could be a small purchase. If the family doesn’t have money to spare, the amount of the expense doesn’t matter.
Kids Deserve Good Examples of Healthy, Loving Relationships
You love your kids, and you want them to grow up happy and healthy. You want them to have great lives, wonderful friendships, and families of their own one day. However, when you stay in a bad marriage, you aren’t giving the kids good examples from which they can learn.
Instead of knowing that they deserve a loving and healthy relationship, they feel that instead, they have to endure a relationship where they aren’t happy. You don’t want your children to believe this and to be in an unhappy marriage when they grow up.
As you can see, there are viable reasons for divorce. There is no need to sustain a nuclear family if the family is constantly fighting and “going nuclear”, so to speak. Divorce can be the solution. Consider the benefits it offers and then look for an attorney to answer any other questions you might have.