Divorce sucks. It isn’t fun for anyone. I happen to love my job, but I take no joy in other people’s suffering. I do take joy in helping them wade through the trecherous waters. Sometimes, I advise people stay together or wait to get divorced at another time. Interestingly, as the economy improves, so does the divorce rate. Click here Below you will find three senarios where you may be better off together.
(Note…this blog is for couples who are safe while living together. If you are in a violent situation, none of this applies. Get out now and damn the consequences, we can deal with them.)
1. When Divorce is Financially Impossible.
If you are your spouse are struggling to pay the bills now, imagine how hard it will be to support two households. Divorce costs money, even if you do it youself. Except to pay filing fees, take time off work to file documents, factor in traveling to the courthouse etc. If you add the costs of attorneys you are looking at paying an average of $15,000 for a divorce, although a cheap divorce could cost $2500 and an expensive, highly litigated divorce could cost more than $50,000. Think about the cost vs. benefits of divorcing and decide if now is the right time. Of course, if your spouse has filed, you must respond, but if you have the option of waiting for better financial times, you may want to wait.
2. When You Don’t Want to Separate From Your Kids.
If you and your spouse have children, chances are both spouses will be awarded substantial parenting time with the minor children. If your child is very young, this may not be the time to get divorced. There is nothing more heartbreaking than parents of an infant fighting over parenting time. If the thought of having your children gone over night or for up to half of the time is undaunting, consider staying together.
3. If you don’t want to go back to work.
If you are a stay at home parent and you do not want to work, you may want to consider staying married. Unless your spouse makes buku bucks or the two of you have amassed millions, it’s not likely you will have enough spousal maintenance or child support or assets to support yourself without working.
These may seem obvious, but to many they are not. I think in the vast majority of cases, it is probably easier to stay married and work out a mutually beneficial solution rather than divorcing. Alas, the numbers don’t lie, so for about 50% of us we can count on facing divorce in our lifetimes. For more information, give us a call at 480-649-2905.